Perfectionism

Do you set impossibly high standards, struggle to switch off, or feel like nothing is ever good enough? At Head Start Counselling & Psychology, our team supports individuals in Geelong who are living with unrelenting standards, low self-worth, and the pressure to be perfect.

Perfectionism isn’t simply about striving for excellence — it often comes with chronic self-criticism, fear of failure, and a constant sense of falling short. Left unchecked, it can lead to burnout, anxiety, relationship strain, and diminished self-esteem.

Signs of Perfectionism

Perfectionism may present in different ways, including:

• Setting unrealistic personal standards
• All-or-nothing or black-and-white thinking
• Harsh self-criticism and fear of mistakes
• Procrastination driven by fear of imperfection
• Difficulty accepting feedback
• Emotional burnout or inability to relax
• Comparing yourself constantly to others
• Feeling inadequate despite achievements
• Rigidity and control in routines or expectations
• Anxiety linked to performance or judgement

What Causes Perfectionism?

Perfectionism can be shaped by:

• Childhood experiences of criticism or conditional praise
• High parental expectations
• Cultural or societal pressure to succeed
• Traits like low self-esteem or high anxiety
• Mental health conditions (e.g., OCD, GAD)
• Cognitive schemas developed over time
• Types of Perfectionism

Psychologists recognise several dimensions of perfectionism:

• Self-Oriented: Holding yourself to unrealistically high standards
• Other-Oriented: Expecting perfection from others
• Socially Prescribed: Believing others expect you to be perfect
• Adaptive: Striving for excellence with self-compassion and balance
• Maladaptive: High standards paired with anxiety, shame, and self-criticism

The Unrelenting Standards Schema

Schema therapy describes a specific perfectionism-related pattern known as the unrelenting standards schema. It involves internal pressure to meet excessively high expectations, leading to overwork, difficulty relaxing, fear of criticism, and reduced enjoyment in life. People with this schema often feel their worth depends on achievement or productivity.

Who’s Most Affected?

While anyone can experience perfectionism, it’s more common among individuals with:

• High anxiety or a strong fear of failure
• A need for control or certainty
• Deep-seated feelings of inadequacy
• People-pleasing tendencies
• A history of conditional approval

Managing and Overcoming Perfectionism

Treatment isn’t about giving up on goals — it’s about learning how to set realistic expectations, let go of rigid thinking, and develop a healthier relationship with achievement.

Therapy may help you:

• Identify and challenge perfectionistic thought patterns
• Develop self-compassion and realistic self-talk
• Learn how to tolerate mistakes and uncertainty
• Reframe beliefs about success and worth
• Set boundaries and reduce overcommitment
• Replace shame with acceptance and progress

How We Can Help

At Head Start Counselling & Psychology, we use evidence-based approaches such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and Schema Therapy to help clients address the roots of perfectionism and develop lasting change.